virgin guide

Basically, you can jump right in. You don’t have to be a runner, and hell you don’t even have to be a drinker, but you do have to be someone who wants to have fun and is willing to laugh at themselves (and others) and spend an afternoon or evening with a fun group of people.  Here are some a few common terms that will quickly make you feel as awkward, silly, and uneducated as the rest of us:

VIRGIN:

Hash newbie; first time hasher.

Hare(s):

Hasher(s) who lay the trail for the rest of us to follow.

Hounds:

The body of hashers in pursuit of the hare.   Also known as the pack.

Shiggy:

Thick vegetation, streams, swamp, woods, etc.; but especially mud.  I mean, who doesn’t love mud!

"Are You?" (RU?):

Question shouted by the pack to FRBs, meaning "Are you on the trail?"

FRBs:

Front Running Bastards: Faster members of the pack, or the first to arrive at the on−after.  (Generally we frown on the athletic types but they are good for doing most of the work so we slower folks can enjoy the evening).

Beer Stop:

Beverage stop or trail mark indicating a beverage stop.

Checkpoint:

Trail mark indicating the true trail must be sought out from one or more false trails.

"ON-ON":

Shouted by FRBs or hounds to indicate they are on true trail. Only shouted by a hasher to indicate they see true trail markings.

DFL:

Dead F*cking Last, the person to reach the on−after, opposite of FRB.

Down-Down:

The ceremonial drinking of your beverage during Closing Circle.

Circle:

Assembly of hashers at trail’s beginning and end, normally for the purpose disseminating information and conducting down−downs.

IMPORTANT NOTES TO NEWBIES (VIRGINS):

Don’t show up if you think you are somehow this great runner and we are merely a group of wanna−be runners. Go play with somebody else. Hashers are known to run marathons and have placed in the Olympics in events from running to swimming so lay off the attitude.  This is meant to be FUN!

Don’t show up if you think this is going to be some type of workout. It isn’t. The trail might be 5 miles or it might be 3. Heck it could be 2 miles. The whole purpose is to have fun, drink beer, and meet new friends, not race. If you want a workout go to Gold’s Gym or the local fitness center; don’t come to the hash.

Don’t show up wearing new shoes.  That would be bad.  We’ll make you drink out of them.  Don’t wear a T-shirt from a race. That would be bad. It may be shredded. Don’t wear a hat in one of our circles. That would be bad. Being a fashion statement of running superiority would be bad. Don’t be bad.

When you do show up, ask people (anyone) where to sign in. It’s a common question, even among experienced hashers, so don’t be embarrassed. When you sign in tell the Hash Cash (the person signing you in) that you are new, i.e., ’a virgin’. Hash cash will tell you to listen for someone yelling for "virgins" or "first time hashers" when we have our opening circle.  We ask $5.00 from everyone before the hash to help with the beer expense unless it's your very first trail which for you it will be a simple charge of FREE .95 every time after your first will be the $5.00; a.k.a., hash cash.  We will ask you to introduce yourself (please use your outside voice) and we will make some rather innocuous statement about where you’re from.  It’s all in good fun; we were all virgins at one point. 

A seasoned member of mismanagement will explain what hashing is and how the trail is marked. This is called ’Chalk Talk’.  Ask questions if you have them otherwise you will be as dumb as the rest of the pack, and we aren’t very smart. You will be given your virgin item to carry with you along the trail and be assigned a drunken hasher. It will be your job to keep up with them, not their job to keep up with you. Along the trail they will tell you 3 "rules" of the hash and will expect to hear a funny/embarrasing story from you.

After the run, you (and any other virgins) will be brought into the middle of our group sitting your bare ass on some ice and you will tell us who made you come (to the hash) and you will need to regurgitate one or more of the rules you were to learn from the drunken hasher you were assigned to run/walk with. Your drunken hasher will then tell us a funny story they learned about you along the trail.  You will then drink a beer. If you want something else like water or soda let the person who gave you the beer know. If you don’t say anything, we will expect that beer is all right. You’re a big kid and you have a voice. 

After our little ceremony virgins will help clean up the area and you’ll be welcome back next hash.

That is all, Ya'll Stay Classy and On-On!